Freedom is the ability to watch footage of a massive explosion synced to country music while you sit on a couch with your hands folded neatly in front of a few cameras, talking about your love of said freedom as you look forward to a weekend in which your sky will not be pierced by a plane or drone that may at any moment eviscerate you and everything you’ve ever known.
America is back, baby.
This morning, Fox News introduced footage of a massive bomb dropped by the United States military in Afghanistan on Thursday set to music from Toby Keith’s, "Courtesy of the Red White and Blue."
Fox host: Dropping MOAB is "what freedom looks like, that’s the red, white, and blue."
Geraldo: It’s one of my favorite things to watch. pic.twitter.com/E5X2lmTnSE
— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) April 14, 2017
Some folks loved it! Others, shall we say, were stunned.
"freedom’s just another word for ‘a near-erotic-thrill from watching millions of dollars of metal & chemicals turn into corpses & rubble.’" https://t.co/1AAsl9xpKv
— Seth D. Michaels 🌲 (@sethdmichaels) April 14, 2017
To be fair, there’s hardly a better song to trumpet your nation’s ability to obliterate whatever the fuck it wants. A lyrical sampling:
"When you hear mother freedom start ringin’ her bell, And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you, Brought to you courtesy of the red white and blue."
And the Fox anchors certainly loved it.
"That video’s black and white but that is what freedom looks like, that’s the red white and blue," said Ainsley Earhardt, co-host of "Fox & Friends" (also, bonus points for anyone who figures out how long she thought about that sentence).
"It’s one of my favorite things in the 16 years I’ve been here at Fox News is watching bombs drop on bad guys," said Resident Mustache Geraldo Rivera.
The bomb in question is known as the Massive Ordnance Air Blast Bomb, and also — because things that kill people are no fun without cool nicknames — as the "mother of all bombs." The MOAB is a 30-foot, 21,000 pound devastation device, used in combat for the first time on Thursday. The U.S. says they used it to destroy tunnels in Afghanistan controlled by the Islamic State, and Afghan government officials said the blast killed up to 36 members of ISIS. But that is not likely to be the only impact of a bomb that weighs as much as half a dozen cars.
The bomb was around during the Iraq War, but the U.S. avoided it because it has a gigantic blast radius. When we think "blast radius," we think of people killed or injured who weren’t in the immediate area. And the MOAB is definitely capable of killing people outside the immediate area. But it’s also capable of knocking out power in nearby neighborhoods, damaging an area’s water supply, and shattering glass for a mile in every direction.
Maybe none of that happened. Maybe President Donald Trump carefully weighed the effects of such destruction and considered who aside from the alleged ISIS fighters might lose their life or livelihood because of this bomb. Maybe he determined there was little chance others would be harmed.